izzy

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sarah

they put a pole through the neck of my husband today
and I thought, absurdly, of the paddle pops my children so coveted in summer
of toffee apples, of chupa chups
of all that was left that was sweet in this mad, mad world

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izzy

MARK CHIGAZA
Sep 20 (10 days ago)

Mark Chigaza & Associates LLC.
Rue 107 Blovarid Francaise,
BP 698 Lomé, Republic of Togo.
Email: markchigaza11@gmail.com
Date:19/09/2014

Private Message

DEAR ORR ,

I have emailed you earlier without a response. In my first email I
mentioned about the sudden death of my late client (Mr.G.E.ORR )
who passed away through an airliner crash that involved the Togo
Football Association which occurred on the 4th June 2007., but both
of you have the same last name so it will be very easy to make you
his
official next of kin based on the appointment of administration letter
as he die without a
written WILL,

I am compelled to do this because I would not want the bank to push my
client’s funds into the bank treasury or as unclaimed inheritance of
hung value. If you are interested you do let me know so that I can
give you Comprehensive details on what we are to do. Reply Back
here(markchigaza11@gmail.com).

1.Marital Status… 2.Age…Full Name..
3.Phone Number.. 4.Fax Number..
5.Country Code..

Yours faithfully,
Mr. Mark Chigaza. ESQ.

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sarah

the tanks were bogged
strung up with bells like Christmas
radiating warmth and love in the cold desert night
hot desert day
cold desert night
camels lumbered past and kissed them
peered in their periscopes like great furred fish
the soldiers draped them in cotton
bought from the dark-swaddled nomads
who took away their coins and used coke cans
the sun cycled past with a parasol of storm clouds
and the sand crept a little higher up the sides

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izzy

The Green Lantern Corps Message Board
5:19 PM (8 hours ago)

.,

This is a message from Unregistered ( mailto: ) from the The Green Lantern Corps Message Board ( http://www.thegreenlanterncorps.com/forum/ ).

The message is as follows:

.

Dear Fellow Patriot,

You may watch the full video here:
http://miracletech.yolasite.com/?theg=jtpcfm.spcfsutpssx-xhnbjm.dpn

Regards,

Allan Cox

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sarah

I strapped a go pro to my cat
to find the source of the weird odour
that hung about his fur of an evening.
I fast forwarded through the bird stalking
the fence post yowling
the never-ending tongue bathing
til he slipped through a crack in a church door
slunk through the aisles
paused at the feet of the bishop
and leapt into the pulpit
to stare with steady eyes at a sea of mewling parishioners.
His yowling sermon I could not fathom
but as he strutted homeward,
stinking of incense,
I thought with horror of the staring felines
littering my daily commute, my lunch break walk, my drunken street weavings
and wondered just when exactly the rapture was proposed

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izzy

iPhone predictive text:
struggling to keep up with the best of all of them in the morning and the first half of the day; the only thing that would make it so hard for you and your friends to play with the other side is that you are the same

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sarah

Songs that I have Shazamed on my phone:

‘Tropical Oceans’ – D. D Dumbo
‘A Candle’s Fire’ – Beirut
‘Back in the Game (Explicit)’ – Jamie T
‘The Renegade (Addicted To Bass Winter 2013 Edit) – Friend Within
‘Down’ – The Kooks
‘Birth in Reverse’ – St. Vincent
‘We The Common’ – Thao & The Get Down Stay Down
‘I Wonder’ – Rodriguez
‘True Colours’ – Cindy Lauper
‘Catastrophe!’ – Julia Stone
‘A Sunday Smile’ – Beirut
‘The Book of Love’ – The Magnetic Fields
‘One Day I’ll Fly Away’ – Randy Crawford
‘Cotton Eyed Joe’ – Terry Callier
‘Hijo De La Luna’ – Montserrat Caballé
‘Jacques Offenbach: The Tales Of Hoffman: Barcarolle: Belle Nuit, Ô Nuit D’amour’ – Joan Sutherland & Richard Bonynge & Elizabethan Sydney Orchestra & Marilyn Horne
‘Lehár: The Merry Widow / Act 2-Vilja-Lied’ – Richard Bonynge / New Philharmonia Orchestra / Ambrosian Light Opera Chorus / Dame Joan Sutherland
‘Surrender’ – Ball Park Music
‘Phantasmagoria Blues’ – Mark Lanegan Band
‘Questa Notte’ – Ludovico Einaudi
‘R U Mine?’ – Arctic Monkeys
‘Solitude Is Bliss’ – Tame Impala
‘Kalmukki’ – Kimmo Pohjonen
‘Who’ll Stop The Rain’ – John Fogerty
‘Crave You’ – Flight Facilities Feat. Giselle
‘World Spins Madly On’ – The Weepies
‘Raconte-Moi Une Histoire’ – M83
‘Chopin: 12 Etudes Op.25: No.11 in A Minor, ‘Winter Wind’ – Nikolai Lugansky
‘Sigur 3 (Samskeyti) – Sigur Rós
‘Dreamshaker’ – The Redcoats
‘I Belong To The Band’ – Mavis Staples
‘Exile Vilify (From The Game Portal 2)’ – The National

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izzy

iPhone predictive text:
cumbersome, and a few weeks of the year before the end of this

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sarah

That gut-punch hunger comes crawling back
slopping through the sick sad streets again
pawing at my knee, big lost cat eyes and a bad dog tail
Go ‘way, I hiss, kicking it off subtle-like
so the punters can’t see
rictus grinning for the security cameras
impassive as a street sign
It spins a pathetic circle and nestles back into my pant leg
Meows so pathetically
Says it’s so sorry
It never meant for
Not on purpose
Oh please, it says
Oh puh-leeeeeease
The neighbours are looking now
Weird girl kicking her knees out
Scabies, I hear one whisper
You can see it from a mile off
Puh-leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease
Shut the fuck up, I say
Shut up now
Jesus, yes, you can stay again
Don’t fuck it up this time
Goddamn it

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izzy

iPhone predictive text:
underneath the stars are so many things that make you feel like a little more time with the other side is a good idea but the fact is that you have no idea

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sarah

Proposed new answering machine message:

‘Hi, you’ve called Sarah. I’ve probably pressed the lock button on my iPhone to mute the ringtone so I can disregard your call without alerting you to the fact that I’m ignoring you on purpose! Don’t worry, I get irrationally anxious at the prospect of phone conversations, even though I worked at a call centre for two years! Weird, huh? Don’t leave a voicemail. Just text or email me. Seriously. I’m so much more likely to respond to text communication. Don’t you find writing just much more comforting than the harshness of speech? Did you read a lot as a child? I did. Maybe that’s why I don’t want to talk to you right now. If this is mum, you can go ahead and leave a voice message starting with ‘Oh, hi love’, where you sound surprised even though you’ve heard my whole voicemail message and waited for the beep and everything. Even you are better off texting me. I like that you’ve discovered emojis. They give your texts an adorable teen girl hysteria that I particularly enjoy. Everyone else, your call is important to us. No, really. I’m sorry about my social inadequacies. Let’s not talk about it. Literally.’

Beep.

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izzy

Phone predictive text poem:
sometimes you gotta be the same thing over and over again and it will not let you go

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sarah

Facebook users suggests titles for Oscar Pistorius’ reported tell-all book about the night his girlfriend died, as taken from comments on an East Coast Radio post asking whether people would buy it (all typos are as posted):

I can’t remember my lady
Book of lies my lady
Murder and How to get away with it Part 1
THE BOOK OF LIES
50 shades of lies
HOW LIES CAN HELP U GET AWAY WITH MURDER
How money can help you get away with murder n call it cupible homocide
Me, Myself and I
No my lady, I can’t remember my lady
Becos I scream like a woman
How to be a liar 101
Dummy guide “how to get away with murder”
Laughing All The Way to the Bank or Blood Money
Zero Recall
Cricket bat diaries
Bullet for my valentine
How to kill your woman and get away with it
Getting away with murder
HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER
I don’t recall my lady
The untold lies
How to get away with murder
My 50 shades of lies
More lies
A million ways to lies
How to murder your partner ans get away with it

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izzy

you are your own galaxy and I am mine
each of us contains a thousand worlds
filled with countless tiny ecosystems

we are constantly losing parts of ourselves
and evolving new parts to take their place
folding inwards before we regenerate

I have a black hole somewhere in my stomach
the last of an endangered species of seabird circling your brow

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sarah

the cricket rubs his legs together and makes music
so beautiful that when you slow it down, it sounds like a choir of angels
calling the holiest name of god
nobody gives him shit for not having a thigh gap

*

izzy

I dream that you are next to me, but we are in space
so the space between us is actually a billion light years wide
and filled with asteroids and tiny stars that supernova when you touch them

I spend tens of thousands of years in human endeavour trying to figure out how to reach you
when it’s as simple as moving my hands

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sarah

thank you very good much
for the for the thing that you
that we
uh
thank all of for you and
wait
thank for
hang on
I have got this
thank job
ha, bank job
thank job for bank job everyone
cheers!
ta
is now the part where we make out
I hope so

*

izzy

it’s in the breath it took to say ‘goodbye’
or the sliding shy eyes and quivering hands
of the first hello
the space between the bed and the wall
or the crack of it coming undone when I rolled over
in the dead of a sweltering night
now there is a festa raging on your street
half-remembered jokes and habits
blending in with the cushions,
you could be forgiven for thinking I never left.

*

sarah

Five non-essential admissions:

1. I am frightened of going blind. Sometimes I cross my eyes and try to do day-to-day tasks like that as a way of testing how I would respond to sudden double vision. When I have panic attacks, it feels like my vision is tunneling. I get scared when I’m driving along freeways that my eyes will stop working and I’ll crash.

2. Sometimes when I get premenstrual, I get so deeply, viscerally angry at tiny things that I want to pick fights with strangers so I can punch them as hard as I can. I once kicked a rubbish bin outside the VCA until I dented it and people looked at me like I’d gone crazy. I tried Googling whether increased testosterone could be part of PMS but couldn’t find a definitive answer. I wonder whether this is what it feels like to be a man.

3. If I knew I was dying, I would take heroin, sleep with strangers and probably commit suicide (not necessarily in that order). I don’t understand people who say ‘Don’t be morbid.’ I think that thinking about death all the time is totally sensible. I mean, shit. It’s going to happen. Might as well be prepared.

4. I am more attracted to men with long fingers and I wonder whether it’s because I equate this with penis size. This has, in my experience, been a reasonably accurate indicator.

5. I pray for safety on every plane I get on, not because I believe in God, but because I’m worried that the one time I don’t do it will be the one time the plane goes down. I am more scared of mid-air turbulence than taking off and landing, even though the vast majority of crashes happen during those times. I still think that flying into a sunrise is the most beautiful thing you can do while sitting down.

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