1. Assume starting position – hands loosely by your sides, ideally standing. It is possible to complete the action from a sitting or prostrate position, but the level of difficulty is considerably higher.
2. Reach your preferred start arm across your chest. Nestle your hand below your armpit, fingers splayed across the back of your ribcage.
3. Repeat with your other arm, folding it across the top of the first arm.
5. Really get into it.
6. Give it all you’ve got.
7. Be tender.
8. Congratulations! You’ve successfully hugged yourself. Now you no longer need anyone or anything else.
Penelope walks in the streets of the dead
writing postcards in dust to the eyeless colossi
and raking her toes through the vomiting earth
she strings her hair with marble and bronze and bone
because the gods are all dead and the titans have won
and because there is no Zeus to come to her lap
as a goose, or a foal, or a shower of gold
she spreads her legs wide and crowns herself queen
weaves a wreath from the smouldering metals of home
and strides across the reeking, hulking husk of her kingdom