One Hundred and Twenty-Three.

3/5/14

Izzy circle

izzy

Veet
I’m lying on a gurney in the back of an ambulance
there’s a neck brace around my neck
paramedic sweating bullets, leaning over me like
‘stay with me, stay with me now, don’t you give up on me’
siren blaring, careening around corners and
I feel something cold and metal against my ankle
look down and – oh god, no, please no –
‘not my jeans’ but she plunges those scissors in
gnashing denim, I can feel air against my skin
and then she stops and looks back at me,
understanding dawns on her face
legs exposed, little curls of hair springing out of denim like fresh grass
I look back at her, broken, from behind my lush full beard
tears welling, ‘I shaved yesterday’
DON’T RISK DUDENESS

Hi…We just wanted to let everyone know, we get it – we’re women too.
This idea came from women
these real-life moments made us laugh.
Not everyone appreciated our sense of humor.
We know that women define femininity in different ways.
Veet helps those who choose to stay smooth.
Our intention was never, ever, to offend anyone
Thank you for letting us know how you feel.

DON’T RISK DUDENESS

but haven’t we been here before?
haven’t we looked each other in the eye and settled the score?
define sexy as more than four letters
tell your blossoming daughters that they could be better
that a hairless pussy is always wetter
that we are all in this together
that life couldn’t be any more fucking fantastic
than when all our limbs are made of plastic
and our bodies become temples of shame and disgust
shivering on these pillars of beauty you thrust at us
and honestly, I’m not judging, I too prune and pluck
all I’m saying is that I don’t give a fuck

*

Sarah circle

sarah

Sometimes I think the only thing stopping me from folding right over and melting my face into my thighs and out the other side is my own lack of flexibility
Keep those hamstrings tight – yoga is the enemy.

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