izzy

“D’you ever feel like you’re a bad man?” silence, then the stumble of boots on concrete over rushing water. “D’you ever feel. Like you’re a bad man?” slurring and spitting stars out into ink sky brushed with steel wool clouds. Only the streetlights are listening. The river crushes the sound of his lungs rasping and fingers grasping for 150-year-old sandstone and his boots scuffing life into 2-year-old pavements. Gutters greet the lifeless lurch like an old friend and it is warm here and it is close and it is still. The sun won’t break the sky for hours yet and the mud is a comforting thing.

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sarah

Reasons I rejected you on Tinder:
– Your photo was you at the races
– Your photo was you climbing a mountain looking smug
– Your photo was only of your torso
– Your photo was a full-length selfie in a mirror and you were pouting
– Your photo was you at the gym
– Your photo was you in a football jersey giving the thumbs up
– Your photo was you holding a drink bigger than your head
– Your photo was you flexing a bicep
– Your photo was you holding a machine gun
– Your photo was you standing awkwardly in a suit at a friend’s wedding
– Your photo was you on a jetski
– You made it apparent that you’re looking to cheat on your significant other
– You described yourself as ‘not better than sex or chocolate, but sliced bread is in a bit of trouble.’
– You’re a member of the Liberal party, and care enough about it to write blogs about how you agree with Tony Abbott
– You appear to actually be a fireman, and you’re holding a tiny fireman’s axe, and you’re overly anxious about clarifying that the girl in one of your photos is ‘just a friend.’
– You messaged me to say that you’re sitting at home at 2 am on a Saturday thinking about why nobody loves you and wondering why women always find you too threatening to love
– Your profile says ‘Warning: Once you go black you can never go back.’
– You asked for ‘people of normal sexual hydration’
– You don’t know the difference between your and you’re
– You have an awful inspirational quote on your profile, saying ‘Your life is a song, a song without words, waiting for you to sing along.’
– Your profile says ‘Life is about DREAMING and ACHIEVING!!!!’
– You seem perfectly nice and quite friendly and you said hello to me in a totally reasonable manner and I freaked out because I don’t know how to flirt with strangers

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