izzy

miraculously, the rest of the building was unharmed.

the blackened exterior of the Morgans’ apartment
was carved perfectly out of the tenement
a gaping hole between the Richardsons’
and Mr Henekky’s 5-cat condominium

the pavement was sprinkled with glass
brick fragments
and ash

the firefighters were confused
the coroner even more so

when the evidence was pieced together
witness reports taken down
of shaking walls,
quaking floors,
moaning and heavy breathing breaking through the brick

with the burnt bones bagged,
security footage scoured
and melded pelvises thoroughly examined
it was determined that the Morgans
had spontaneously combusted
making love in their queen size posturepedic.
*

sarah

excuse me sorry hi
i don’t mean to complain
it’s just that, as of yesterday
someone seems to have injected concrete
into my sinuses
and actually, now that i think of it,
into my left ear too
and halfway down my neck
and i was just wondering
whether there have been some sort of
bungled council works
i mean, i know that it’s all a bit mad
for you guys, what with the
east-west link kerfuffle going on
and i just thought that perhaps
at some point
some roadworks might have happened
in some inadvertent way
inside my face.
is there a form i can fill in?
a toll free number i can call?
i’m sure that you’re all very busy
it’s just that it’s rather inconvenient
having a headful of concrete
as i’m sure you can imagine.
i did some googling
(i know, i know)
and the general results seem to indicate
that it’s just the common cold
but really, i’m not convinced
what with the government
monitoring our search results
and given mr abbott’s
plummeting approval ratings
i can entirely understand why
you’d rather have this covered up
but i think that with some delicate negotiation
i could probably be consoled
with an out-of-court settlement
quite a large one
actually.
i’ll leave my number
and email address
i don’t have a fax machine
so, apologies for that
i’m sure you’ll be in touch
sincerely,
etc.

*