izzy

I am standing in the bathroom looking at the bluestone tiles
not looking myself in the eye
not listening to the floating particles of conversation
from my family as they gawk at the wonder
of the mountains and the bush and the sea of trees
that look like they have no end
except that you can see the road from here too.

and there’s a fat guy in gym sweats
with his belly poking out between
his t-shirt and his shorts
he has a whistle
and those gross sweat band things
like tennis stars or wankers

and he’s yelling from the sidelines
cheering me on
knowing I can’t fail
because he believes in me
and his dreams that turned to blubber
burn even harder in my heart than in his
so there is no way that I can fail.

‘NO GUTS, NO GLORY’

comes panting out of his mouth
like the humid clouds at the top of this mountain
and I am sending you a mental high five
for being generally fucking awesome
and then we bump chests
because we are being brave and trying
not to remember that this is
supposedly an impossible thing

I am sitting in the dark
I can see myself in the treetops
swinging my legs
trying to do it slow and sexy
not like a little kid
and you watch me
and we smile like secrets
and light the fireworks in my eyes
even though it’s a total fire ban
because this is how much I fucking love you.

*

sarah

pass me the sugar soap
i’ve still got my scrubbing brush
from the last time
and the time before
i only rented your arms
and while they felt so much like home
i suppose i always knew i couldn’t stay

*